Contributor: E.S. Wynn

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When the fantasy I was living
Became a nightmare
I fell
I fell through hell
Woke to another dream
Tasted the nectar
Of a sweeter fantasy
A fantasy
All blue eyes and babies.

Picture me
Sitting by the sea
Children run in front of me
And they all look like her
They all look like she
To me.

Picture me
Here in an orchard
There tending bees
Tilling the earth
Leading chickens with feed.

Picture me
Rubbing elbows with the rich
Sharing wine with the elite
Getting by in the bay
Coming home to a smiling wife
Who always has time and kindness
For me.

Picture me
Living such an earthy fantasy
With a woman who could be
Everything my ex-wife could never be:
All blue eyes and babies.

A simple dream,
A wash of colored light in a world
Once so cold and monochrome.

A simple dream
Just me and she
(And our four or three)
Building a home together
Building a practice together
Building a farm together
Building a life of more than just prestige
A life of more than just spending money
A life
All blue eyes and babies.

Picture me
She and me
Among all of the
Mutual friends of we
All those gripped by the fantasy
Who said we looked good, me and she
Who said it must be meant to be.

And picture me--
Me and she,
With a piece of property
By the sea
Established land
For friends and fam
To homestead
To build upon
To farm freely
To make and mold
Into something pure
Into something lasting.

I wanted it
That fantasy.
I wanted that life
All blue eyes and babies.
I ran headfirst into it.
I gave it everything I had in me.

And when she saw what she wanted
Right there, right there
Already open in her hands
She ran.
Instead of seizing it
Instead of keeping me
She ran.

- -

And I went back to my wife
And we worked at fixing each others' broken hearts
And we swore to stay together
(This time, forever.)

But at least for a while
At least for a handful of weeks
I lived toward a life
All blue eyes and babies
A life so perfect
That it could never be.

- -

And now, like some cruel, quiet joke
we are all of us mourning so silently
The death of that blue-eyed fantasy.


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E.S. Wynn is the author of over fifty books in print. During the last decade, he has worked with hundreds of authors and edited thousands of manuscripts for nearly a dozen different magazines. His stories and articles have been published in dozens of journals, e-zines and anthologies. He has taught classes in literature, marketing, math, spirituality, energetic healing and guided meditation. Outside of writing, he has worked as a voice-over artist for several different horror and sci-fi podcasts, albums and ebooks. He has a bachelor’s degree in English and is a proud Freemason.