Denial

Contributor: Lynn Nicholas

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heart brimming with joy a moment ago
now heated tears hover, ready to flow
tears turn to laughter, I catapult back
emotional rheostat, so out-of-whack

self-control failing
motivation derailing
I slide, losing ground
I am coming unbound

falling like Alice head first, upside down
into the rabbit hole, I’m spinning around

emotional bedlam
gaining momentum
delighted or depressed
could be anyone’s guess

can’t get a grip on what’s real and what’s not
skidding, sliding brakeless, can’t seem to stop

heart-stopping emotions confuse and surprise
my composure, control, are transparent lies
nerve endings visible, too vulnerable, raw
to avert an implosion I have to withdraw

so I hide in aloofness, put up a wall
and try to deny I have feelings at all


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Lynn's fiction appears in A Long Story Short, Every Day Fiction, Rose City Sisters, and WOW!. Her poetry usually remains private.